Entries for #operaplot 2010 closed while I was in the sky, en route to closing night of Bliss. Like several others, I suffered from an irritating little bout of writer's (twitterer's?) block this time: the compositional ease which surprised me in last year's efforts seemed to evaporate this time round. But in the end I scraped together eighteen entries — thirteen new ones, plus five of my favourites from last year.
So here they all are, my 140-character creations, in the order I tweeted them. I haven't included titles for the moment; guessing's part of the fun, and I think most of them are pretty self-evident.
1. Ad man, lucky man, ladies' man. Dead man, changed man, madman. New man, green man, Honey's man. Good man. It's bliss, man.
2. Betty's a Bitch, Johnny's a Jerk, Lucy's a Leftie, David's a Dealer. Honey's a Hooker-with-a-Heart. But Harry? He's just a Joy.
3. Wife & beekeeper battle for immortal soul of tracksuited Dante. Children, unwisely, are left to their own devices.
4. So Hell isn't just les autres; it's les autres in 80s clothes, having inappropriate sex as an elephant crushes your f*cking car. [I just know I'm going to pay for this one in search engine referrals...]
5. Ten years later, Brett Dean's elaborate excuse to make Peter Coleman-Wright grow a moustache finally pays off.
And just when you thought I was incapable of #operaplotting anything other than Bliss...
6. Big sis gets Mr Right. Little sis gets Mr RightWellIThoughtYouWereABoyButSinceYou'reAGirl
AndYourSister'sTakenIGuessYou'llDo! [FYI the last bit was all one word when I tweeted it, but evidently Typepad can't cope with that sort of formatting.]
7. Unrequited lover's talent for maudlin poetry is dwarfed by his spectacular gift for RUINING Christmas.
8. Noble lady trapped in harem of surprisingly complex Pasha. Will her fiancé get to her before Stockholm syndrome does?
9. Conversational Countess makes prevarication quite literally an artform. Blame it on the moonlight.
10. Contestant on macabre Hungarian gameshow ignores all hints from the host and opens one mystery door too many.
11. Old? Tired? Inspiration fading? Book a Venetian Getaway today! Hotel/transport/barber included. Allegorical references extra.
12. Mother-in-law from hell drives son's frustrated young wife into the arms of another, into madness, and into the Volga.
13. Boatsman's neglected wife takes up with burly stevedore. Brief, bloody tale of jealousy, regret & in Seine passion.
14. Hey Jude/Don't be afraid/You were made to go out & get him/The minute you get into his tent/You know you're meant/To kill him.
15. It's just like The Sound of Music, but with ghosts & Freudian angst instead of schmaltz & Nazis. And the kids are even creepier.
16. I CAN HAS TEH HEAD OV JOHN TEH BAPTIST?
17. Able seaman and troubled soul departs gossip's gutters, stumbles into stormy seas while gazing at the stars.
18. Amatory lepidopterist traps fragile specimen among Nagasaki cherry blossoms. Fumbling to release her, he crushes her instead. [My final effort from last year too, and still my favourite.]
You can see the full list of entries — and help out by claiming some orphans — at The Omniscient Mussel.