As you probably know, if you're operatically inclined enough to read this blog, last week was #operaplot week. This dangerously enjoyable competition/geekfest, the brainchild of Miss Mussel (aka Marcia Adair) has been running annually now since 2009. It's the reason I joined Twitter, in fact, and still one of the best reasons to stay there.
Celebrity judge Eric Owens will announce the winners on Wednesday, but in the meantime, here are some of my personal favourites from this year's crop.
@SamNeuman "You need anything dusted? Swept? OK, we'll just...stare at the harbor all day again," Suzuki says, mentally updating her résumé.
Queen Elizabeth I: legendary sovereign or vile lady-bastard? Mary, put your hand down, we know which way YOU’RE voting.
@frindley 1 2 3 bat on a bench 1 2 3 jailing offense 1 2 3 fancy dress 1 2 3 oh what a mess 1 2 3 silly revenge… 1 2 3 doing the batty bat!
@ppelkonen Could you maybe pull out the sword and not sing loudly while doing it? My husband's trying to sleep.
@Cyradis ALMAVIVA: Figaro, your new wife is hot! FIGARO: Dude, why did I ever help you in the first place?
@harryfiddler Macbeth: Thane of Cawdor, tick. Thane of Glamis, tick. King hereafter? Hmm. Lady Macbeth: Don't worry darling, I'm on it.
@ogiovetti "Yo, Walther. I'm really happy for you and imma let you finish, but Hans Sachs was the best Meistersinger of ALL TIME."
@1and1make1 "Wardrobe has some concerns about using glass slippers. Maybe the prince could just recognize her jewelry or something."
@funwithiago YO! That old dude had THE BEST IDEA: Let's try to make our GFs cheat on us with EACH OTHER. Bro, this can only end hilariously.
@kfpsoprano I'm not going to choose between music and poetry. Instead I'm going to stand here and have the most self indulgent moment ever.
@sohothedog Count A. in Seville: unlocked the 'Rosina' badge.
And if only for archiving's sake, the following are my own efforts. Some new, some recycled from previous years.
"I pity." — The Fool.
Stranger swans into town, has anonymous one-knight-stand, kills a guy, produces a child, swans out again. What a champion.
So I'm poor and crazy, and my girlfriend is a whore. I wonder how I can make our son's life even worse. Ooh, I know! *gets knife*
RT @pequod_captain ZOMG so sick of teh FAIL WHALE!!!
Self-referential, self-indulgent meditation on importance (or otherwise) of libretto sure puts the "META" in Metastasio.
Coming up on Bravo: Cross-dressing, drunken parties, partner-swapping and more, with the Real Housewives of Medieval Touraine.
Mother-in-law from hell drives son's frustrated young wife into the arms of another, into madness, and into the Volga.
Contestant on macabre Hungarian gameshow ignores all hints from the host and opens one mystery door too many.
Noble lady trapped in harem of surprisingly complex Pasha. Will her fiancé get to her before Stockholm syndrome does?
A bromance amid the Brahmins reaches its nadir at around the same time the priestess-in-the-middle reaches hers.
Friday, Friday, gotta get healed on Friday, everybody's lookin' forward to re-demp-tion. Holy grail holy grail (yeah).
Just because you're coulrophobic doesn't mean the clown WON'T kill you.
Keep yourself / Full of beans / And avoid / Bloody scenes / Give your captain / Burma-Shave
Exultant newlywed, turned green by nihilist's strategically placed handkerchief, discovers just how moreish jealousy can be.
Charismatic opera star maintains career, good looks & slavish fanbase for THREE CENTURIES. Could be an #operaplot; could just be Domingo.
Swiss maid discovers 9th century precursor to the Twinkie Defense. Breaks into coloratura of disbelief when it actually WORKS.
Amatory lepidopterist traps fragile specimen among Nagasaki cherry blossoms. Fumbling to release her, he crushes her instead.
Fine, I don't need to know who you are or where you're from, but can we PLEEASE play the Lohengrin Bridal Chorus at our wedding?
Ten years later, Brett Dean's elaborate excuse to make Peter Coleman-Wright grow a moustache finally pays off.
Unrequited lover's talent for maudlin poetry is dwarfed by his spectacular gift for RUINING Christmas.
It's just like The Sound of Music, but with ghosts & Freudian angst instead of schmaltz & Nazis. And the kids are even creepier.
o hai burrough!! im in ur vilage, killin ur prentisses. or am i? i can haz ellen? oh noes! kthxbai :(
Able seaman and troubled soul departs gossip's gutters, stumbles into stormy seas while gazing at the stars.
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